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How to deal with big changes in your life?

Updated: May 2, 2020

Great question for many of us. Best answer ever is ”easy does it.” Change happens right? Change is a natural part of life -weather changes, sun up/ sun down, you’re in school, you’re on break, you’re working in your career, you’re on vacay, young then blink and we’re older, days change, years pass. Through all of life have the expectation that change will happen, accept your controls and all that you may not be able to control (for manipulators this is hard, so learn that manipulation is a negative behavior and extremely unhealthy -future discussion). These are the lighter side of life changes, what about the big stuff?

The big stuff: parents get divorced, death of a parent, death of a child, death of a spouse, death you may have inflicted, death of a friend, loss of a relationship, loss of a sibling, loss of a job, loss of a country (wars, refugees), disease diagnosis, prison, and a world of other hurts. How do we deal with this emotionally wrenching stuff. Yes, “easy does it.” For those of us who pray and believe in a loving God, we pray, we scream it out and wrestle with God (as Jacob did); eventually we get tired of the sorrow, the hurt, the regret and then we seek a peace that passes all understanding and we reach for a joy that allows us to be okay to laugh out loud multiple times a day. After a time of self compassion, not self punishment, we accept our new normal, a new reality. No one really can do this alone; people need people to help them. I believe we need God, family, friends, mentors, mental health professionals, concerned passers by, a purpose, and love.

To answer this great question ask yourself am I ready, do I have some time to really reflect and absorb perspectives right now. If now is mentally or emotionally hectic I suggest preparing a time for you and your brain later to work on this thought. How have you dealt with big change in the past? successes...

I hope this was encouraging and helpful. My blogs are information only and are never intended to be a substitute for therapy. If you are hurting and mentally stuck get professional help; suicidal, or having any other emergency call 911.

For more reading here are some helps:

Farley,K. and Dicola, D. (2018). Grieving dads: To the brink and back. Farley.

Pyramid. (2018). Everyday Mindfulness: 365 ways to a centered life. Pyramid.

Schiraldie, G. (2000). The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook, Lowell House.

Tighe, A. (1999). Stop the Chaos: How to get control of your life by beating alcohol and drugs. Hazelden.





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